Most of the Indian girls have an irrational fear of getting married. As the fact goes that daughter-in-law is taken granted in most of the Indian families. The reasons are many. A woman just like a man plays several roles. Being a daughter, sister, the lover is a part of her journey. I am a daughter and a sister. I have found profound gaiety while being in those relationships. I was maverick and self-sustained. I have seen my mother managing our home perfectly, taking care of each of us magnificently. From the walls, floor to furniture, she would clean every bit. From our education to food, clothes to shoes, basic necessities to comforts, she brought all of us up masterfully. I had never perceived or ever sensed, what she was sacrificing in the course? How convoluted her life could be? She never did unveil her unapparent malaise to anyone or maybe that soreness never existed. She might have learned to feel contented with whatever she received. She might have started finding her happiness in the happiness of my father, family, friends or relatives, who appreciated her efforts of being a perfect house maker. Hence, my parents taught me the same, when I was about to tie the knot.
Since the day my name, place, relations, family, my mornings, evenings, rights, priorities, everything suddenly changed. I was determined to accept all those changes because this is what we girls are taught at our parental home. I welcome those changes and devoted myself to them. And in the process, I have realized what my mother was sacrificing. I have realized, I can be a daughter-in-law but not a daughter. A thin, flimsy line between these two words takes so much from us. Unlike before, now I cook, clean, do laundry, and do all other routine chores. If anyone in the family is sick, it’s my responsibility to take care of. I preferably cook of their choice. I get up early, no matter how heavy-eyed I feel. I ask for others permission to go out of the home and I am only permitted if I am done with my routine chores. My these little variations are not even get noticed by anyone because as we all say it’s natural. A woman is meant to do all these chores. There is no big deal when you do but hurricanes occur when you don’t do. And one day when my husband served me food in bed because I was sick, he got noticed and overwhelmed with the eighth wonder of the world. He is now a dream man, as he did what was fixed to me, just for a day.
Even in this era, we hear the cases of dowry. She is burnt alive like a heap of waste. Women here are still suffering from depression just because they fear to follow their heart and ‘sacrifice’ word has been added to them as mandatory. The more she sacrifices, the more crowns she receives. The more she is silent, the more she is mature. Her supremacy is judged on the basis, how she tackles her new family members.
But when she raises her voice, she becomes disappointing, displeasing and unacceptable to everyone. She is tagged with ‘Oh! Feminism is steamed up in her blood!’.
With the course of time, the things are getting better but still a vast discordance abides between a daughter and a daughter-in-law. That is why females are influenced to infiltrate their mindsets that they aren’t meant to dangle aprons around their necks. They fear to take household responsibilities and this disparity in mindsets leads to lopsided future for them.
Daughters and sons both should be taught to be dexterous. One cannot step back from the responsibilities. They should understand to maintain a balance between personal and professional life.
Daughters are not meant to sacrifice their own priorities and wish just to save her new relations, her marriage and for the sake of society. The day, when in families the members would understand their duties, her rights and her duties and their rights as well, the things would change itself. Neither a man should refrain from washing dishes nor a woman from earning bread for her family. No such laws have ever been made to designate fixed jobs to male and female. This distinction is created by us only. So dear In-laws, instead of controlling her, stand with her in her decisions. Treat her like you treat your own daughter, let her accept you as her own parents. Let’s keep this word ‘In-laws’ aside.
My dear woman, do not fear to take responsibilities and know your capabilities. It’s your life, take charge of it, know your mission, be self-dependant physically, mentally, financially and individually.
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